I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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