You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize