Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
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Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
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At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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