im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
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The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
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SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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