How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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