he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
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I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
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We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I could fuck to npr.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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