put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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