Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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