True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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