Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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