I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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