Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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