It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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