the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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