1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
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Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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