I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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