shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
In other news, I just burned my penis
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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