if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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