And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
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I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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