Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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