he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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