I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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