oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
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I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
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If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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