I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize