smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
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I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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