I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize