Yo dont text me then not text me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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