Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
In the future we'll all be gay
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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