I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize