FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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