The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize