You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize