please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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