It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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