I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You can't just leave with hair like that
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
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