Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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