there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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