Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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