He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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