The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
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