no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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