Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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