On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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