I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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