hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
