Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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