so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize