Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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