my mouth tastes like poor choices
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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