I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
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My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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