i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
sex in a hospital.. check
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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