I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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